Twenty Eight feels GREAT

Last Thursday I turned twenty eight. My family was precious, my co workers were great and I had a dear friend take me to New Orleans! The older I get the less important birthdays seem to me. I tried to do a lot of reflection on the days before and the day of my birthday. I compiled a list of twenty eight things that have either taught me a lesson or effected my life in a major way.

1. I never understood how much my parents loved me until I became a parent myself. Motherhood is my most treasured accomplishment in life. Nothing has ever challenged or caused me to grow as a person, like being a mother has.
2. The older I get the smaller my circle of friends becomes. My friends that I have had my whole entire life are the best kind around. I never lose that connection or love for them no matter how much time passes.
3. When you make a mistake, I mean a horrible, shameful mistake.... you just have to own it. I never run from or defend things people say about me concerning my mistakes. People who know me, love me anyway.
4. Forgiveness in a must and a grudge only hurts you.
5. I was raised in church... a Southern Baptist church. I loved my church and many of the people who still go there. I was so blinded by the church and how it treated people. My family suffered a hard time many years ago and I was totally turned off by the way the church responded to it. It was at that point that I seen how the "rules" of the church had shaped and molded my life. I am a Christian. I do answer to the Lord but my belief is that we are to love God and love people and that people have personal convictions. We cant force our own convictions on other people. I am not bad mouthing my church at all just saying how events happened and how it shaped my view on things.
6. Women are the most competitive creatures on Earth. Awful!
7. I am  not a night owl. Never have been and never will be!
8. No matter how much you love someone, you can not change them. No matter how much hope you have in them, you cant force them to use their potential. No matter how  hard you run from the inevitable, it is still coming.
9. Every one is human, they will do human things.
10. I love to drive fast.. really fast.
11. I am completely and utterly scared to death of going back to school.
12. I am strong.
13. I am loved.
14. I never planned on being a mom, much less a single mom. I have NO DOUBT that it's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know all parents have special connections and bonds with their children but what I have with Brooklynn Rose is so sacred to me. There are times when it's so heart breaking that I cant even breathe. This past Christmas my whole family pulled together to get Brooklynn's play house moved to our house and set up while she was fast asleep waiting on Santa to come but the next morning, I could hardly keep from having a lump in my throat because She and I were alone. My whole life there was at least five people around the Christmas tree with me on Christmas morning and now it's just one. I am okay with that but that is what I mean when I say sometimes my emotions are overwhelming. Every morning, every night, every meal, every trip to school, every bedtime prayer, every load of her dirty clothes, every grocery shopping trip, every day... every memory is mine. She is no doubt my soul mate. She was sent here to save me. The time is slipping away and she is not a baby any more. I wonder what it will be like ten years from now.
15. I hate poor customer service.
16. Communication communication communication!!!
17. I still love to play babies with Brooklynn now as much as I did when I was a little girl.
18. fall, winter, spring, and summer. That is the order of my favorites.
19. I am simple, very simple.
20. Robert White is the very best friend I have ever had. I love all of my siblings very much but Robert has always been my best friend.
21. Time takes care of everything. Brooklynn has a little sister who was born six months and one day after her. They have not seen each other since either of them were just a few months old. This is very heart breaking for me and very hard for me to let go of and allow time to take it's place. I played a fair share in things being the way they are now in certain situations but to me they are what matter now and any past grievance should be let go of, for their sake. I try to imagine the day Brooklynn finds out she has a sister that I never told her about. I wonder how that will effect her. I wonder if she will resent me for keeping that from her. I am open to them knowing each other and have expressed that desire many times but have been told it just wont happen and I have no choice but to respect that.  Time takes care of everything.
22. Happiness is a choice.. no really it is.
23. I am getting set in my ways and I'm okay with that. I have no desire to have a man in my life. I'm not closed off to the idea or try to prevent it form happening but I am not a girl who needs a man to be happy. I'm just not that girl.
24. No one will love and respect you if you do not love and respect yourself.
25. I am twenty eight and I am debt free.
26. Expressing my feelings is something I have to do. I can not let things build up. Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to say how I feel.
27. People who know EVERY THING drive me up the wall!!!!!!!
28. I am happy with life. I am at peace with life and I know that life is seasonal. Hard times come and go. Good times come and go. Friends come and go. Money comes and goes. It's all about how you view things and your frame of mind. It would be real easy to get bitter but to me it's just not worth it. I have a wonderful family, a job that I love, and the unconditional love of the prettiest four year old in the whole wide world. How could I not be happy? How could I complain? I am ready for the year of twenty eight of all that it holds for me!!