Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.

When I was growing up I didn't have the same "grandparent experience" as most of the kids I knew. My mom's parents both past before I was even two years old and I just didn't spend much time with my dad's parents. They were a part of my life but just not like my friends and their grandparents. My best friend, Jess was always so sweet to share hers with me though. We spent the night at Ma maw's house all the time. Even when they moved away to Alabama I can remember Ms. Karen loading us up and taking us for the weekend. I always wished that I had that kind of relationship with my grandparents and ALWAYS wished I could have know my mom's parents.

When Brooklynn was born I made it my mission to make sure she had a special relationship with her grandparents, on both sides. She's spends lots of time with my mom and her husband, my dad and his wife, and lots of time with Adam's mom. She loves them all so much and I'm so happy for the relationship she has with them.

Today my Mom who is Grandma to Brooklynn took her to meet Adam's mom who is Mimi. She will be there all weekend because I have to work Saturday and Sunday. I am a single parent but I can never say that I raise B on my own. Family has played a crucial part in the magical little person she has become. My heart smiles when I see how happy Brooklynn makes her grandparents. It's funny because she can get them to do pretty much anything.  I'm very very thankful that I have their support and that Brooklynn has them each in her life. Here are a few of my favorite pics of B with her grandparents.

hanging out w/ Grandma

she loves her Pawpaw

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if Mimi lived in Laurel, Brooklynn would never come home

B, Poppa, & Grandma

Grandmaw Linda, Pawpaw, and  "the girls"

One of my favorites

Mimi and Boogie on her first Christmas morning

Porch sitting with Grandma

driving Poppa's boat at the lake

sweet baby

B was just a few weeks old here

Fishing with Pawpaw at Grann's house

she caught a fish

Mimi spoils her rotten

sweeeet

I love all of you so much and just wanna thank you all for the part you play in Brooklynn's life!!

Don't get bitter.. get better.

Well it's Thursday and I have had a very emotional week. I do not know what has been wrong with me or why I cant seem to get a grip. My thoughts have raced all week and I have had no sense of control over anything. I'm usually a very content and put together person. I always feel like I'm in control and self aware but not this week. This week has been an emotional disaster.

I live a very scheduled and routine life. I have been that way my whole life. I have woke up at the same time since I started kindergarten. (true story) I'm okay with schedule and get out of sorts when my routine is messed up. When ever I am stressed or having a bad week it's usually because my routine is out of whack but this week things have been pretty normal as far as that goes. What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way?

I have worried all week and searched my heart and mind to try to root out anything that could be causing me this uneasy feeling. I'm a big fan of self reflection and even that has not helped. Brooklynn's dad and I got into an argument this week so I thought maybe that had something to do with it. We never agree so us arguing is usually not anything that gets to me either. Sunday afternoon my mother and I also exchanged words over something silly and I thought maybe that was it. I have let my laundry pile up all week and I have always heard "clutter house equals clutter mind" but still I couldn't put my finger on the exact thing that is making me feel this way.

Every day has seemed to get a little worse. I wake up and tell myself things are gonna be okay and by the end of the day I'm crying my eyes out. Yesterday was a pretty good day at work and then we had supper at mom's and I still felt this uneasy feeling in my heart when I got home.

We got home and Brooklynn and I got into our pajamas and piled up on the couch. Even as I held her in my arms I couldn't help but worry. She went to bed at 8 and I got in bed shortly after. As I laid there I was over whelmed with emotion. Tears began to fall and for the first time this week I felt some kind of release. I was looking and thinking about things clearly and all I could do is cry. I cried for so many reasons. I cried because I miss my brothers and sisters who live far away. I cried because Brooklynn is starting school in two weeks and for the first time in her little life she will be going somewhere that she is not familiar with. I cried because I don't have the money for her school supplies. I cried because her daddy will not get a job and keep one. I cried because she has a sister who is the only little girl in the world who will ever truly relate to her and she and Brooklynn don't even know each other. I cried because of the guilt I have from playing a role in that happening. I cried because I was tired of going to sleep in that bed alone. I cried because I was being weak and I have to be strong. I cried because I didn't complete college. I cried because I don't know the future and it scares me. I cried because the window of time of Brooklynn not noticing things is gone. As I released all those emotions and all that pain and all that worry, I felt my heart literally get lighter. I was angry and bitter and finally facing it.

I know I cant be this "tough as nails" person all the time. I know that I too have needs and wants. I know that sometimes I have to stop and think about myself. Last night I realized that maybe I am not as strong as I think I am and that is okay. I had let a lot of bitterness build up in my heart and I had to get that out. We cant control life or the choices that others make.  We have to keep living and we have to keep living well. To be bitter or to be angry only robs us from the joy we have in our lives. Bitterness can creep up on you and be a dead weight in your life before you even realize it's there. None of us have perfect lives but we all have the ability to not be bitter but to be BETTER!!

Easy like Sunday morning

After a night out with friends, celebrating Nikki's birthday I really wanted to sleep late Sunday morning. My night out ended at 11:30 so it's not like I was up any later than I normally would be on a Saturday night. I got home and Brooklynn was already in bed sleeping soundly. Her dad had came and stayed with her while I was gone for those few short hours.

Brooklynn was up bright and early and ready to play. Since the house was clean we had nothing to do but "play". First we played babies for a little while, the we played with puzzles for a little while, then we colored for a little while, then I finally convinced her to watch some TV in hopes that I could take a mid morning snooze. Well that was not happening. She brought out her grooming tools and went to work on my hair.

The whole time she was fixing my hair she never got off of her cell phone. She was just a jabbering to "Kennedy" which is her cousin who she goes to day care with. They were talking up a storm. I think her imagination is just to sweet.

You can see her chatting it up on that cell phone

going to town with the curling iron

love this precious baby

and I love these perfect Sunday mornings!

Happy Birthday Tricky Nikki

Saturday evening we celebrated Nikki's birthday. She turned 26!! It's been a long time since I have sat and laughed with her. I have celebrated many birthdays with Nikki. I look back over the years and it's some of my favorite memories. When she turned 21 we took her to the casino and had a blast. One year we had a surprise party for her and she was totally shocked. Last year we danced till our feet fell off. This year a few close friends gathered on a back porch and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Here are a few pics!!

Birthday girl

Steph and I

I have missed these sweet girls!

Cutest couple ever.

Happy Birthday Nikki!!!

Pallet Party w/ My Mini Me!

Friday night when I got off work I was so exhausted! I picked up Brooklynn Rose from my mom and was looking forward to not having to go ANYWHERE all weekend. B and I went home and got straight in our pajamas. She is like that every day though, when we get home she immediately puts on her "jammies".  I grilled us some chicken and cooked some rice and enjoyed our supper.. just She and I.

We got on the couch and watched Wheel Of  Fortune like we do almost every single night, she loves that show. She always thinks Vanna is so pretty and every time they give away a trip she always says "I wanna go there one day". She has always liked the show and since we only pick up the locals we don't have much choice. I allow B to stay up a little later on weekends. She is so scheduled and so routine that "late" is usually only till 9:00 or so. I also let her sleep with me on the weekends. Around nine she couldn't hold her eyes open any longer so I put her in my bed and I joined her about an hour later.  Being lazy and cuddling up with her is my version of a perfect Friday night. Here are a few snap shots of us girls doing NOTHING!

Saturday morning we got up around 8:00. I wanted to sleep late but little bit had other plans. We watched cartoons for a while and then B said she wanted to "clean up". Brooklynn has always been such a good helper and she loves to clean house. I know in about 10 years from now it will probably be like pulling teeth to get her to help me clean house and that flashed through my thoughts. So I made myself get up and put her to work. Her favorite chores are dusting, mopping, and folding clothes. Oddly enough those are my least favorite chores. We took all the picture frames off of the furniture and I gave her a dust rag. She dusted while I started on the kitchen. Then I swept and then she mopped. We played pandora and sang and danced and I actually enjoyed cleaning my house. I got caught up in the moment and tried to put it in a spot in my brain where I could remember it forever. Brooklynn is growing so fast and this was one of those precious moments that I never want to forget.

Doing a little mopping....

and a little dusting!!

Congratulations to The White's

This past weekend I traveled over to Louisiana  to see Robert and Jamie Lee's new home. Brooklynn had already been there since Wednesday with mom and I was so anxious to get there with all of them. Most of the moving had already taken place when I got there but there was still a lot going on. The house is beautiful and fits perfectly with their little family.

The White House

Last year when Robert and Jamie Lee announced that they would be moving to Louisiana, I slipped into a mild depression. (no really, I did)  Robert and I have always been extremely close and have never been more than a few minutes drive from one another. The whole first year of Brooklynn's life he practically lived in my front yard. I cried for weeks and anytime I would stop and think about him being far away, I would get knots in my stomach. Let's not forget that they had just found out they were gonna have a baby... then we find out they are gonna be four hours away. It was a lot to take in. I admit, I was being selfish and wanted He and Jamie Lee here! I would miss getting together and cooking supper at least once a week. I would miss being able to ride over and watch the Saints play on Monday nights with them. I would miss being able to pack up my daughter to go and stay the night with her favorite people.. Bob Bob & Aunt Jamie Lee. In the midst of all my sadness my brother was a comforter  to me like he has been my whole life. He told me he had to make this move for his family and for his family's future. I have always been the gypsy and Robert has always been the homebody so I knew it took a lot of guts and a lot of thought for him to pack up and leave home. All in all, I was proud of him and only wanted the best for him besides he promised me he would come home on every hitch that he had off and so far he has been good to his promise.

Now that you have that history we are all caught up. Robert and Jamie Lee make me so proud. They are the best siblings that a girl could ask for. There is no way I could ever make you guys understand how much they have done for Brooklynn and I. That is why I know good things are happening for them because they are always good to others. They are the sweetest little family and Brooklynn and I love them very much. They have been in Louisiana since last November but this weekend they moved into a new home which is close to the same area that they have been living the whole time.

Robert and Jamie Lee I am so proud of you guys. You have seen me through some really dark times and never left my side. My child loves you guys like second parents and I have no doubt that if I was ever taken from this Earth that she would be just fine with y'all. Olyvia Faith is the most precious thing and very lucky to have you guys as parents. It's so much fun to see our family grow and I look forward to many more trips to Louisiana.

Two of the sweetest girls I know

I could just squeeze her. Love you OFW!!

This Grandma was in hog heaven!

To sweet of a picture not to share with you guys.

Can't wait to watch these little girls grow up together!

You are my I LOVE YOU

My whole life my mother called me "Gypsy Rose". I was always sitting on go and I have discovered that Brooklynn is the exact same way. Almost every day when I pick her up from Tinys, she ask me "where are we going now" and almost every night when I put her to bed she ask me "where are we going when we wake up". When She comes home from her MiMi's, as soon as we get home she is asking "when are we going back to MiMi's". She is always on GO!

Brooklynn, my mom, and my Uncle Freddie left yesterday to go to Robert and Jamie Lee's to help them move into their home. I will be heading over there tomorrow and I am so anxious to get there. None the less, Brooklynn just got home Sunday from being gone the whole weekend and was home for three nights and gone again. I always miss Brooklynn when she is gone but this morning I missed her more than usual. She is at the age where everything that she says is funny and brings a smile to my face. She is a loving child and she is a "momma's girl" and this momma is missing her girl!

This morning when I got up I didnt have to be quiet infact I turned up Pandora as loud as it would go. My mind kept wondering back to Brooklynn and thinking about how much fun she is having with baby Olyvia but I still wanted her home.. or wished I could see her pretty smile and hear her joyful giggle.

So many people seem to be depressed and unhappy these days. I wonder with out Brooklynn in my life how I would view things and how I would feel about life. We are all delt cards that we are sometimes unprepared to play and it can take it's toll on us. Brooklynn is my soul's motivation. She is the reason I contiunue to push on through this sometimes so mondane life. It's easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle and loose our purpose and loose our vision. I believe happiness is a choice and so many choose to be miserable. Bad things happen to everyone  but we as humans have to learn to perservere and live through the trials that make us better people. I believe Brooklynn has made me a much better person and a much happier person.

This morning I was reading my sister-in-laws blog and went back and read some older post. I found a poem that she posted last year and as I was missing Brooklynn Rose I felt like these words summed up exactly how I was feeling. I miss my family and I miss my sweet B and can't wait to see them all tomorrow!

I am your parent you are my child

I am your quiet place, you are my wild

I am your calm face, you are my giggle

I am your wait, you are my wiggle

I am your audience, you are my clown

I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down

I am your carrot sticks, you are my licorice

I am your dandelion, you are my first wish

I am your water wings, you are my deep

I am your open arms, you are my running leap

I am your way home, you are my new path

I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath

I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake

I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake

I am your finish line, you are my race

I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace

I am your favorite book, you are my new lines

I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine

I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo

I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you.

written by Maryann K Cusimano

" I don't wanna go anywhere today"

Happy Tuesday folks. I got a late start this morning. The alarm went off at 5:45 and I hit the snooze. It went off again at 5:55 and again I hit the snooze, AND I hit the snooze again at 6:05 which ultimately led to thirty minutes of over sleeping. I slept so good last night and just couldn't make myself get out of bed.

My morning routine, is just that, very routine.  I'm up, in the shower, hair done, and getting dressed by 6:30. Brooklynn usually gets up around then and comes into my room and lays in my bed while I finish my make up and put on my jewelery. This morning  at 6:45, she was still sound asleep.  I went into her room, cut off her air conditioner, turned on her lamp and she rolled over and looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said "I don't wanna go anywhere today". I wondered if she had read my mind because I felt the exact same way. I picked her up and she wrapped those skinny little arms around my neck and I was so tempted to put my pajamas back on and us both crawl back into bed.

As a single mom I never have the luxury of just crawling back into bed and skipping a work day. How do you explain to a three year old that the bills keep coming and Momma has to pay them. I'm never bitter or envy anyone who does have that luxury. I was unemployed for 10 months when Brooklynn was a baby and decided then I was not a "stay at home mom".  However, that does not mean that some days I do wish I were in a situation where I could crawl back into bed with Brooklynn.

I have read on fb and talked to friends this morning who seem to have the " Tuesday blues" also. I seen where a lot of people have posted that they wanted to start the day over or just get back in bed. Brooklynn and I felt the same way. So to all of you who woke up, looked in the mirror, and said "I don't wanna go anywhere today", you folks were not alone.

I couldn't resist snapping a pic of Sleeping Beauty.

Girls just wanna have FUN!

Today I want to shed some light on a very special young lady, Hannah Lynn. Hannah is technically Brooklynn's aunt (on her dad's side) and she takes her responsibility very seriously. She tends to Brooklynn, teaches her, helps her, laughs with her, hugs her, kisses her, adores her, and does all the things that any aunt would do. When I met Brooklynn's dad, Hannah was the same age that Brooklynn is now. I have watched her grow up and grown to love her with each passing year. She is a calm and gentle spirit and Brooklynn loves her just as much as I do. Every summer I always bring Hanny home with us for at least a week. Now that Brooklynn is three going on twenty three,  she really thinks she is as big as Hanny. We have really enjoyed having Hannah Lynn this week and I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures of the girls.

This picture is from Brooklynn's first Christmas.

Look how little Boogie looks.

Christmas 2010

Hannah has been there to blow out all the candles with Brooklynn.

Headed to the zoo!

B was so excited that Hanny got to come to her last t-ball game.

November 2008

The girls are totally enjoying their summer together. We love you Hanny!!